177/365 - "Stuff" featuring Myself

June 26, 2014

Model: Myself

Do you ever have those days where you want to do absolutely nothing? Like lay on your bed for long periods of time, nap, grab something to eat from your fridge, come back to your bed, lay there, get up, go on your computer and watch YouTube vids for a long period of time? That's what my day consisted of. I have things to do like edit pictures, set up my Etsy store, fill out some important papers along with a few other grown up responsibilities.

The problem I've had for as long as I can remember is people telling me to do things. For example, if my parents would tell me to clean my room, I would get lazy to clean my room and not do it. I'd have to want to clean it myself because the sole fact that someone TOLD me to do something just put me in a "blah" mood. I hope that makes sense. I'm not saying that people say things like "Don't do drugs" and I'll go do them, it's just small things and tasks. I'm trying my best to work on it but it's been quite the challenge.

Another problem I've been having is going out. I've mentioned it on a previous blog post but i feel like this month has been my less social month I've had all year. That's why I've been taking a lot of self portraits because I don't want to search for a model and get out of my house. I've had the thought of "what am I going to do with my life?" and that scares the shit out of me. Being pressured to be somebody can take quite the toll on a person. Things like, how am I going to pay the bills this month, how can I improve on my photography, blah blah blah adult things blah blah blah.

Social networking sucks too. I mean, it rules and it helps get my work out there but posting on the daily just sucks for me. I'm aware that tons and tons of people do these 365 projects and they're amazing at it but I like to stay away for a while because sometimes people suck and it keeps my mind clear. When you unfollow someone from a social networking site, people tend to lose their shit, especially if something has a glitch and think that you hate them. Yo, don't worry about how many followers you have. If there's a glitch on something, okay. If someone wants to unfollow you from a social networking site, don't cry about it. Maybe they're not interested in seeing what you're doing or something along those lines. I wouldn't be surprised if people have unfollowed me because I think this months project has been horrible. I would unfollow me too if I wasn't me haha. But anyway, it's just the internet.

Maybe I'm just having an unproductive crappy day full of my thoughts and I want to complain about it for once on the internet. On a brighter side, the past two days were good to me. Warped Tour was yesterday and I saw tons of friends I hadn't seen for a very long time so that was amazing. I'll stop bitching about life and actually do something and do tons more planning than I've already done before today. AND edit Warped Tour pictures.

If you've been having a great first month of summer, all of the high fives for you! If you've had a rough month full of "blah" moods, I'm on the train with you and let's work on kicking ass and making it better.

EDIT: So I wrote this a couple hours ago and I'm re-reading it and I'm stupid. Life is cool and full of struggle but I am now over what I was feeling. Maybe the crappy hours of the day do this to me. The world may never know.


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